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DPChallenge Forums >> Business of Photography >> Photographer's personality clash with client
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11/16/2012 02:33:04 PM · #1
Whoa..I am not looking forward to a photoshoot scheduled Sunday. Maternity shoot, did the studio shots Tuesday, the father-to-be is..to be kind..not a friendly guy. I have a hyper, smiling, friendly personality. This guy never makes eye contact, never speaks and refused to have his picture made with his wife. Sunday, an outdoor setting with a popular setup where we have the box with the question mark and the color of balloons that tells the sex of the baby inside, he is a vital part of this shoot and gives all the vibes that he is not going to participate. He is definitely a "cold fish". Am worried this is not going to be a fun shoot, feel really sorry for the mom, am wondering how I am going to handle his personality. They both will also find out what they are having Sunday, he seems to not care. Any suggestions on how to handle this guy would be greatly appreciated. Am trying not to let my temper flare!
11/16/2012 02:38:26 PM · #2
My guess is he's not the father and he knows it. :P
11/16/2012 02:39:14 PM · #3
LOL! Had not thought of that!
11/16/2012 02:44:35 PM · #4
Yeah because he is medically not able to but he never told her and now they both have a secret....ooooohhh ;) Poor kid.
11/16/2012 02:47:56 PM · #5
uhhg :(

make the most of it, but be ready to back up your 'satisfaction guaranteed or your money back' pledge. just do the best you can, but be ready to move on to the next one. at best, hope that the wife will give you good referrals. maybe you'll get some newborn/infant/toddler work from her, but don't count on family work. the more you push him, the worse it's going to get.

and definitely don't tell him to smile...
11/16/2012 02:47:56 PM · #6
Is it that this is her first child and his 5th but she doesn't know he has that many?

or

Have you checked the Most Wanted Photos lately and done a comparison?

or

We could just go with Art's guess!
11/16/2012 02:48:38 PM · #7
You probably should straight-out ask the two of them if this is something that they really want to have done. You aren't a part of any problem of theirs, but you can't make someone miserable appear happy if they don't want it.

Just bow out quietly if they can't make it happen. You don't need this. Give her the studio shots, and move on.
11/16/2012 02:51:49 PM · #8
Quick, get a copy of "How to Win Friends and Influence People". Then read up on his DISC Personality. Once you find out his motivation, you will be able to overcome his obstacles... My suggestion, "let" him take the lead. He wants control, give it to him. Let him tell you what he wants to do. Pick his brain. He wants to make sure things get done... make sure that he knows he is standing in the way of getting his wife's photoshoot done. (In a nice way!) He is probably the dominant one in the relationship, don't make him get into any submissive positions like kissing his wife's belly and all that imasculating stuff!

Hope I wasn't too overzealous in my help, but just trying to give some input.
11/16/2012 02:54:33 PM · #9
Originally posted by NikonJeb:

but you can't make someone miserable appear happy if they don't want it.

Oh yes you can. It's called "Liquify" under the Filters menu. :P
11/16/2012 03:29:43 PM · #10
They may not stay married that long, maybe you should get plenty of individual shots, so she doesn't have to tear them all in half later. "D

Sounds like he's giving you the silent treatment. I've researched that. There's nothing you can do but work around him.
11/16/2012 03:37:50 PM · #11
It may also be that passive/aggressive crap. Maybe he's an attention hog and hates that his wife has the limelight?

I do think Jeb is dead on, and you should find out if this is something they really want to do or SHE really wants to do. If he says he IS on board, I'd ask what you could do to make the session more comfortable for everyone so that the images turn out. If the silent wall won't come down, just give her the studio images and move on.
11/16/2012 03:41:14 PM · #12
Thanks to all for the advice. I have dealt with many personality types, he is my first that I could not break through the hard exterior and end up getting the shots I want... hes kinda scarey lol! I will try my best to get him to cooperate, let him call the shots (as I have been adviced,) but in the end I can only do what the client is willing to do, nothing more nothing less. Keep your fingers crossed for me :(
11/16/2012 03:43:04 PM · #13
2 Words.

Concealed Carry!
11/16/2012 03:56:14 PM · #14
Originally posted by kawesttex:

2 Words.

Concealed Carry!


LOL!!
11/17/2012 08:05:48 AM · #15
Just my .02 worth...this might help you get some decent shots of him, but try toning down your naturally friendly, outgoing nature a bit. Especially as he sounds anything but naturally friendly and outgoing, if he tends to be on the dour withdrawn side himself, you may come across as a little bit overwhelming, so he'll just retreat further and be more miserable. Esp if he sees himself as Mr Tuff guy, all unemotional etc.

Another idea that again definitely might work. When you shoot Mom and kid outdoors, get your shots, then have them leave and shoot Dad in the same spot all by his ugly ol self, same location and light falling on him so it looks natural (though maybe you'll have to fake in a shadow or two if needed). Anyway just PhotoChop him into the scene.

Apart from that, I dunno...maybe scratch your balls or talk a little more gruffly or in a lower tone with him? I can get away with batting my lashes at recalcitrant guys, but even so it doesn't always work.

Rotsa ruck!
11/17/2012 09:25:53 AM · #16
photoshop him in?

Seriously though, if he refused to do the studio shots, you probably have your answer. :(

I think you stepped into something that they both knew about, but were both avoiding telling you. I'm guessing at this point that the straight forward approach is best. Pick which one you're going to talk to. Say that after the studio shots and his hesitancy, you're wondering if he's planning on participating. I don't know that there's any reason to pussy foot around it any longer. It's just going to be awkward and put an awkward spin on the day. Perhaps just hit it straight on and see what happens. ?
11/17/2012 07:42:42 PM · #17
Originally posted by NikonJeb:

You probably should straight-out ask the two of them if this is something that they really want to have done. You aren't a part of any problem of theirs, but you can't make someone miserable appear happy if they don't want it.

Just bow out quietly if they can't make it happen. You don't need this. Give her the studio shots, and move on.


^ This.
11/17/2012 08:49:23 PM · #18
I usually just ask the guy (it's always a guy...) *goofy smile on my ditsy face* ... "So, are you being forced to be here... or are you okay with doing this as a favor for her...?"

If he admits to being forced, I usually say, "Well... I'll make it as painless as I can... you won't have to do much."

So then... we move on... I shoot her for a while and then I tell him, "Okay, two quick shots from you..." *moving him into place. *winks and whispers* "Not long, I promise!"

Then... he actually stands there... stupid look on his face.

So, I say, "Act like you like each other" *grin*

Usually, by then... he's relaxed a bit.

But... I'm a bit of a doofus.

Oh. Make SURE you're all set up before you tell him he's only gotta do "two"... then... after two... tell her (without glancing at him) something like, "Wow! Your hubby/man/partner is SEXY!"

He'll be happier. I promise.

Message edited by author 2012-11-17 20:51:47.
11/17/2012 08:53:03 PM · #19
I'm sticking with the Concealed Carry. If the sorry dude can't get in the pic just let him know that there are two ways to shoot him and he has a choice.

With or without the lead! :-)
11/18/2012 01:42:56 AM · #20
One tack that might work for a guy that loves power, they are very proud of their kids: tell him it may seem like a dumb idea to him, bit his child will be the audience for these pictures. Tell him that the look of love and expectation in the shots will tell his son or daughter will tell them how much he is looking forward to that child's coming into the world. Tell him to look into the lens like it his kid looking out at him years from now.

Message edited by author 2012-11-18 01:45:04.
11/18/2012 07:10:52 AM · #21
Just my two cent worth, but it's quite likely that the guy is camera shy or an introvert.. Or maybe he is just overwhelmed at the responsibility towards the little child he sees in his wife's arms.

Message edited by author 2012-11-18 07:14:36.
11/18/2012 09:45:45 AM · #22
echoing ken's sentiment...
Originally posted by robert hunter:

Got a wife in Chino, babe
And one in Cherokee
First one says she's got my child
But it don't look like me
...

11/19/2012 01:17:23 PM · #23
Well, how did it go?
11/19/2012 01:24:35 PM · #24
Originally posted by David Ey:

Well, how did it go?


+1

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