Next to my own skin, her pearls. My mistress
bids me wear them, warm them, until evening
when I´ll brush her hair. At six, I place them
round her cool, white throat. All day I think of her,
resting in the Yellow Room, contemplating silk
or taffeta, which gown tonight? She fans herself
whilst I work willingly, my slow heat entering
each pearl. Slack on my neck, her rope.
She´s beautiful. I dream about her
in my attic bed; picture her dancing
with tall men, puzzled by my faint, persistent scent
beneath her French perfume, her milky stones.
I dust her shoulders with a rabbit´s foot,
watch the soft blush seep through her skin
like an indolent sigh. In her looking-glass
my red lips part as though I want to speak.
Full moon. Her carriage brings her home. I see
her every movement in my head.... Undressing,
taking off her jewels, her slim hand reaching
for the case, slipping naked into bed, the way
she always does.... And I lie here awake,
knowing the pearls are cooling even now
in the room where my mistress sleeps. All night
I feel their absence and I burn.
Carol Ann Duffy (b. 1955), from: Selling Manhattan (Anvil Press Poetry 1987)
Statistics
Place: 108 out of 165 Avg (all users): 5.3587 Avg (commenters): 6.8333 Avg (participants): 5.3824 Avg (non-participants): 5.3448 Views since voting: 30102 Views during voting: 245 Votes: 184 Comments: 9 Favorites: 2 (view)
First Impression - the most important one: Way cool .. this is a woman .. and she is real! ... not only this but this is a photographer who hasn't done too much to the image.
Composition: I really do like this composition. I found hte crop took in just enough of the woman to let the viewer decide it was. My only thought is to the background - I think this is where you slightly lost out - it is quite bland (we all get told this at least once).
Subject: Meets the challenge and through even showing the poem meets it well.
Technical (Colour and light): I see no major issues with this - the lighting is good ... and the picture is well focused. I may have tried a little more light - just slightly from the side to highlight the definition of her a little more.
To grow its vote?: Think about the background - have a good look at the winners and take a little of what they do and try it out.
Summary: Remember to keep on shooting and enjoy what you are doing - or there is no point!
If you've got any questions about this critique, please feel free to contact me via the PM system.
This shot has an 'honest class' feel to it. Pearls, black dress and (dare I say it) a mature women whos kept her figure. I think its an excellent shot and bumping up 2 (on closer inspection)
Thank you for not using Neat Image.
Thank you for photographing a woman with natural, believable, beautiful skin and bones.
Thank you for this lovely, nearly abstract, very real image.
10, and added to my favorites. :)
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