Revenge- The tables have Turnedby
Sunshine86Comment by KiwiShotz: ::: Critique Club :::
How can I not bless any image from a photographer who chose my nickname for the UserName challenge :)
Very happy to do the detailed critique you requested on your image but it is difficult without some detailed information in your photographer's comments. When we do a critique, we go further than just assessing the photographic result. That's what the voting process does. The critique process goes deeper to look at what you were trying to achieve, how you wanted it to look and what issues you had in getting the image captured and ready for voting.
First Impression - the most important one:
I was a little confused at first and it took me a second to find the mouse. I didn't like the look of the image and would have passed it over fairly quickly if I hadn't been critiquing it. When I found the mouse and 'got' the story I couldn't stop giggling.
Composition:
Once I found all the elements, I could see how the composition works. Because I initially didnt see the mouse though, it's probably not yet at optimum. I wonder if de-centralising the ice cream, perhaps by retaining image to the left of the crop which would put the ice cream container on thirds, that there would be a more natural eye-flow to the image as a whole.
Subject:
This is one cute and funny story being told here and it touched the voters too as 5.6 is a great score for this pic. This is a tough school and the voters weren't slow in noticing the unset traps. Just shows how careful it is necessary to be.
I wonder about the ice cream container. The detail on the lid bothers me but I'm not sure if it is supposed to be a part of the story or if it's just a vehicle for the mouse to be on. The text and illustration on the lid just detracts so much from the Point of Interest, the mouse. If the cookie dough ice cream is
not supposed to be a feature, then a drinks coaster or piece of card obscuring that graphic would really help.
Technical (Colour, focus, and light):
I just love your depth of field. It doesn't get more perfect than that. The main Point of Interest is of course the mouse (or is it a gerbil?). That area, as evidenced by the ice cream lid, is crystal sharp whilst the traps are just mildly OOF. The sense of height above the traps is communicated but they are not so OOF that they cease to be an importand part of the focus. Had they been sharp, the eye would have been drawn to the wrong place entirely. Yep the mouse does look OOF but I suspect that is motion blur and as such I'm not sure it's hugely significant. Certainly its not as important as your main point of interest being so hard to see.
The conversion to B&W has caused the elements to blend here and doesn't appear to add anything to the image. You've had mixed feedback about the mono but I do believe colour (lid obscured) would have done so much more to identify the respective layers and elements.
I know you love desaturation and monotones. Only two out of 12 images on your profile page have strong colour. That's perfectly fine as many people don't identify a speciality and stick with it. You do. I would just be careful how and when it's used.
To grow its vote?:
I hope this is the point of the critique. This has more potential than most to be a hit picture and whilst we're talking about the things that may help it, please don't believe that this is a bad picture. It's not, I would just love to see it knock their sox off.
I'm surprised it scored as high as it did but am very happy for you that it did. I think it scored on its humour rather than its photographic values so given an adjustment to those, you had a huge potential hit here.
Summary:
This is not a bad image, it's a very good story-telling one and one that has even more potential than it already displays. Have you got a coloured original that you can post in your Portfolio?
It's been fun, thanks for the opportunity
Brett
Photographer found comment helpful.
