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01/24/2005 10:19:14 PM · #51
Originally posted by thommo:

This was in the paper in the weekend. Its all you need to know about vegemite.

Vegemite

Me and the kids love the stuff. The wife isn't so keen. Its perfect on taost on those mornings when you wake up with a bit of a furry tongue or when you have the flu and can't taste anything else. Love it.


Yup - it is the stuff that most reasonable people would throw away. The scum that floats on the top of beer as it brews.

But then, I'd be eating haggis tomorrow if I could...

(btw, I have two jars of vegemite in the cupboard, before someone leaps to its defence )
01/24/2005 10:24:19 PM · #52
Isnt' Aussie Day about a bunch of convicts that decided to take the lands from the Aboriginies + the Brits? :-)
01/24/2005 10:26:56 PM · #53
Originally posted by paganini:

Isnt' Aussie Day about a bunch of convicts that decided to take the lands from the Aboriginies + the Brits? :-)


sounds like Thanksgiving...

Anyway I'll be drinking a Coopers, come Wednesday



Message edited by author 2005-01-24 22:28:21.
01/24/2005 10:30:08 PM · #54
Originally posted by paganini:

Isnt' Aussie Day about a bunch of convicts that decided to take the lands from the Aboriginies + the Brits? :-)


Yep! The first fleet arrived 26 Jan 1788 with the boats of convicts they didn't want in England lol
01/25/2005 12:51:17 AM · #55
Originally posted by Gordon:

Originally posted by paganini:

Isnt' Aussie Day about a bunch of convicts that decided to take the lands from the Aboriginies + the Brits? :-)


sounds like Thanksgiving...

Anyway I'll be drinking a Coopers, come Wednesday



Gordon you have very good taste.
01/25/2005 01:01:46 AM · #56
Originally posted by paganini:

Isnt' Aussie Day about a bunch of convicts that decided to take the lands from the Aboriginies + the Brits? :-)


Tony Australians are very proud of our convict past it is what makes us what we are and helped developed our sense of humor and unique way of life.

Our country was started out as a British penal colony and Im not proud of any injustice to Aboriginies caused by our British settlers but this happened in the history of most new discovered lands in that era or before.

So if your thread was to be antagonistic it failed or if it was all tongue in cheek ........ it was not real funny but no offence taken either way. cheers
01/25/2005 03:56:31 PM · #57
It was a joke and i thought it was funny you said "antagonistic" :)

And to Gordon -- the difference between US and Australia is that the settlers in the US were not convicts before... but in Australia they were dumping prisoners they don't want in Britain.

BTW, lands were not "newly discovered" as people were there already :)

Glad you guys gained independence from the Brits -- after all, they're the ones that gave everyone else a huge headache (you can say the current problem in Iraq originated by the Brits who just decided to draw a line without regards to ethnicity and say, this is Iraq). In fact, 95% of the problems in teh middle-east today resulted by actions by the British.

Originally posted by keegbow:

Originally posted by paganini:

Isnt' Aussie Day about a bunch of convicts that decided to take the lands from the Aboriginies + the Brits? :-)


Tony Australians are very proud of our convict past it is what makes us what we are and helped developed our sense of humor and unique way of life.

Our country was started out as a British penal colony and Im not proud of any injustice to Aboriginies caused by our British settlers but this happened in the history of most new discovered lands in that era or before.

So if your thread was to be antagonistic it failed or if it was all tongue in cheek ........ it was not real funny but no offence taken either way. cheers

01/25/2005 04:32:48 PM · #58
I'm not sure which day is 'Aussie Day', but if it's anytime soon then I'll probably be watching the Australian Open. Federer just kicked Agassi's butt, but I don't mind because I like them both. Just as long as somebody beats Hewitt. We just can't have an Aussie winning the Australian Open! :)

Message edited by author 2005-01-25 16:34:06.
01/25/2005 04:36:58 PM · #59
You can find me in the kitchen cooking up a roast
or vegemite on toast
just me and you and a cockatoo
but after tea, we'll settle down and sit along the porch
and watch the wombats play

:D
01/25/2005 05:09:41 PM · #60
It snowed during the night, and just started snowing again, so it looks like I'll be driving in the snow, and then maybe playing in the snow with the kids at school.
Which is kind of funny, because I saw some fantastic shots of snowflakes on the internet last night and wondered if it would snow here again this winter.
Oh, also, I'll probably take some photos in the snow.
01/25/2005 05:35:41 PM · #61
Originally posted by lentil:

Originally posted by Brock:

I spent Aussie Day two years ago with a hundred Aussies on the island of Diego Garcia....drank more VB than I have ever seen before...ate more bbq and they always had vegemite in for breakfast anyway so that was not new... except they told me VB was VIRGIN BEER instead of its real name...hahaha


More importantly though did you have fun?


I had more fun than was allowed in the american tents on Diego and learned there is more to Aussies and Americans than being bastards of Britain...we both no how the hell to party and not give a damn about what anyone thinks. LOL
01/25/2005 06:42:47 PM · #62
Originally posted by micknewton:

I'm not sure which day is 'Aussie Day', but if it's anytime soon then I'll probably be watching the Australian Open. Federer just kicked Agassi's butt, but I don't mind because I like them both. Just as long as somebody beats Hewitt. We just can't have an Aussie winning the Australian Open! :)


Today is Australia Day (26th) and Hewitt plays tonight so I doubt you will get your wish lol How can an Australian lose on Australia day? lol

No one can beat Federer anyway and if anyone does it will be Roddick.
01/25/2005 06:54:41 PM · #63
Originally posted by loz1:

Today is Australia Day (26th) and Hewitt plays tonight so I doubt you will get your wish lol How can an Australian lose on Australia day? lol

Well, Happy Australia Day mate! (are sheilas called mate?)

And best of luck to Mr. Hewitt. I have a feeling he'll need it, especially if he goes up against Federer.


01/25/2005 06:59:23 PM · #64
DISAPPOINTED.
So it snowed during the night at my place and in the city, but to come to work, I drive north ... after 6 or 7 km, NO snow! Unbelievable.
Oh well. I don't even have any Iced VoVos left to celebrate Australia Day.
01/25/2005 07:21:56 PM · #65
Originally posted by paganini:


And to Gordon -- the difference between US and Australia is that the settlers in the US were not convicts before... but in Australia they were dumping prisoners they don't want in Britain.


Ah - a painfully literal response to a joke from the person who was joking in the first place. ouch.

I'm well aware of the various waves of settlers in Australia, some convicts (if you think a bread thief is worthy of that title), some not (like the South Australian religious settlers)
01/25/2005 10:29:20 PM · #66
Originally posted by Gordon:

Originally posted by paganini:


And to Gordon -- the difference between US and Australia is that the settlers in the US were not convicts before... but in Australia they were dumping prisoners they don't want in Britain.


Ah - a painfully literal response to a joke from the person who was joking in the first place. ouch.

I'm well aware of the various waves of settlers in Australia, some convicts (if you think a bread thief is worthy of that title), some not (like the South Australian religious settlers)


Actually, the US was used for convict dumping late in colonial rule. Georgia was established as a penal colony, run by James Oglethorpe, who ran a very strict colony. The primary purpose of Georgia was to have a buffer between Spanish Florida and the cash crops in the carolinas. The secondary purpose was to house all of the "convicts" that England sent over. Of course, this all changed when the US revolted. Enter Australia.
01/26/2005 09:48:11 AM · #67
Happy Australia Day (though a bit late in the real country ;) )



Message edited by author 2005-01-26 09:48:33.
01/28/2005 07:13:39 AM · #68
Just to let everyone know what Australians and Australia Day is about..........I found this in my email. (please take no offence as none is intended)

GOD BUT I LOVE BEING AN AUSSIE.............
WE ARE ONE - We are the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas
and the occasional wanker. We come from many lands (although a few too
many of us come from New Zealand), and although we live in the best country in the world, we reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like. We are One Nation but divided into States.

First, there's Victoria,
Named after a queen who didn't believe in lesbians. Victoria is the
realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte, grand final day, and big horse
races. Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief marketing pitch is that it's liveable. At least that's what they think. The rest of us think it is too bloody cold and wet.

Next, there's New South Wales,
The realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar, thin books read quickly and millions of dancing queens. Its capital Sydney has more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it. Its mascots are Bondi lifesavers that pull their Speedos up their cracks to keep the left and right sides of their brains separate.

Down south we have Tasmania,
A State based on the notion that the family that bonks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets an extra chromosome at conception. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest faces. It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, which the Yanks can't seem to beat no matter how often they try.

South Australia,
Is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of foreigners and bizarre axe murders. SA is the state of innovation. Where else can you so effectively reuse country bank vaults and barrels as in Snowtown, just out of Adelaide (also named after a queen). They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of Adelaide sent the Formula One drivers to sleep at the wheel.

Western Australia,
Is too far from anywhere to be relevant. It's main claim to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did, all the men would get erections on the bus on the way to work. WA was the last state to stop importing convicts and many of them still work there in the government and business.

The Northern Territory,
The red heart of our land. Outback plains, and dusty kids with big smiles.
It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere on the planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminium content of anywhere too. Although the Territory is the centrepiece of our national culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to flyover it on our way to Bali.

And there's Queensland.
While any mention of God seems silly in a document defining a nation of half arsed sceptics, it is worth noting that God probably made Queensland, as its beautiful one day and perfect the next. Why he filled it with dickheads remains a mystery.

Oh yes and there's Canberra. The less said the better.

We, the citizens of Oz, are united by Highways, whose treacherous twists and turns kill more of us each year than murderers. We are united in our lust for International recognition, so desperate for praise we leap in joy when a rag tag gaggle of corrupt IOC officials tells us Sydney is better than Beijing. We are united by a democracy so flawed that a political party albeit a redneck gun toting one, can get a million votes and still not win one seat in Federal Parliament.

Not that we're whingeing, we leave that to our Pommy immigrants.
We want to make "no worries mate" our national phrase, "she'll be right mate" our national attitude and "Waltzing Matilda" our national anthem (so what if it's about a sheep-stealing crim who commits suicide).

We love sport so much our newsreaders can read the death toll from a sailing race and still tell us who's winning. We're the best in the world at all the sports that count, like cricket, swimming, netball, rugby league and union, AFL, roo shooting, two up
and horse racing. We also have the biggest rock, the tastiest pies, and the worst dressed Olympians in the known universe.

Only in Australia can a pizza delivery get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Australia do we have bank doors wide open, no security guards, or cameras but chain the pens to the desk.

Stand proud Aussies - we shoot, we root, we vote. We are girt by sea and pissed by lunchtime. Even though we might seem a racist, closed minded, sports obsessed little people, at least we feel better for it.

I am, you are, we are Australian!

P.S We also shoot and eat the two animals that are on our National
Crest!!!!
(the roo and emu) No other country has this distinction!

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY - January 26, 2005.

01/28/2005 08:36:52 AM · #69
This was sent to me by an Aussie, I thought I'd share - enjoy.

Falc

Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge deep into the girting sea. Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology and plate tectonics, but they still call it the "Great Australian Bight" proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory, but they can't spell either.

The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other land masses and sovereign lands are classified as either continent, island, or country, Australia is considered all three.

Typically, it is unique in this.

The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them. However, there are curiously few snakes, possibly because the spiders have killed them all.

But even the spiders won't go near the sea. Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on) under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else. A stick is very useful for this task.

Strangely, it tends to be the second class of animals (the Odd) that are more dangerous. The creature that kills the most people each year is the common Wombat. It is nearly as ridiculous as its name, and spends its life digging holes in the ground, in which it hides. During the night it comes out to eat worms and grubs.

The wombat kills people in two ways: First, the animal is indestructible. Digging holes in the hard Australian clay builds muscles that outclass Olympic weightlifters. At night, they often wander the roads.

Semi-trailers (Road Trains) have hit them at high speed, with all 9 wheels on one side, and this merely makes them very annoyed. They express this by snorting, glaring, and walking away. Alas, to smaller cars, the wombat becomes an asymmetrical launching pad, with results that can be imagined, but not adequately described.

The second way the wombat kills people relates to its burrowing behaviour. If a person happens to put their hand down a Wombat hole, the Wombat will feel the disturbance and think "Ho! My hole is collapsing!" at which it will brace its muscled legs and push up against the roof of its burrow with incredible force, to prevent its collapse. Any unfortunate hand will be crushed, and attempts to withdraw will cause the Wombat to simply bear down harder. The unfortunate will then bleed to death through their crushed hand as the wombat prevents him from seeking assistance. This is considered the third most embarrassing known way to die, and Australians don't talk about it much.

At this point, we would like to mention the Platypus, estranged relative of the mammal, which has a duck-bill, otter's tail, webbed feet, lays eggs, detects its aquatic prey in the same way as the electric eel, and has venomous barbs attached to its hind legs, thus combining all 'typical' Australian attributes into a single improbable creature.

The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants. First, a short
history: Some time around 40,000 years ago, some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and lot of them died.

The ones that survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in, and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories.

Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north. More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged and stupid people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in Autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons when moving from the top half of the planet to the bottom), ate all their food, and a lot of them died.

About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal, and litigate (marks of a civilised culture they say) - whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert, equipped with a stick.

Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on Extended Holiday and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside your boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned.

There is also the matter of the beaches.

Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the entire world. Although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock, and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk.

As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst, and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful, and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger, unless they are an American. Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string, and mud.

Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is Greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz", "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country") and "Best bloody place on earth, bar none, strewth." The irritating thing about this is they may be right.

There are some traps for the unsuspecting traveller, though. Do not under any circumstances suggest that the beer is imperfect, unless you are comparing it to another kind of Australian beer. Do not wear a Hawaiian shirt. Religion and Politics are safe topics of conversation (Australians don't care too much about either) but Sport is a minefield.

The only correct answer to "So, howdya' like our country, eh?" is "Best {insert your own regional swear word here} country in the world!".

It is very likely that, on arriving, some cheerful Australians will 'adopt' you, and on your first night, and take you to a pub where Australian Beer is served. Despite the obvious danger, do not refuse. It is a form of initiation rite. You will wake up late the next day with an astonishing hangover, a foul-taste in your mouth, and wearing strange clothes. Your hosts will usually make sure you get home, and waive off any legal difficulties with "It's his first time in Australia, so we took him to the pub.", to which the policeman will sagely nod and close his notebook.

Be sure to tell the story of these events to every other Australian you encounter, adding new embellishments at every stage, and noting how strong the beer was. Thus you will be accepted into this unique culture.

Most Australians are now urban dwellers, having discovered the primary use of electricity, which is air-conditioning and refrigerators.

Typical Australian sayings

"G'Day!" "It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick." "She'll be right."

"And down from Kosciusko, where the pine clad ridges raise their torn and rugged battlements on high, where the air is clear is crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze at midnight in the cold and frosty sky. And where, around the overflow, the reed beds sweep and sway to the breezes, and the rolling plains are wide. The Man from Snowy River is a household word today, and the stockmen tell the story of his ride."

Tips to Surviving Australia

Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason whatsoever. We mean it. The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is. Always carry a stick. Air-conditioning. Do not attempt to use Australian slang, unless you are a trained linguist and good in a fistfight. Thick socks. Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby. If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die. Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.

See Also: "Deserts: How to die in them", "The Stick: Second most useful thing ever" and "Poisonous and Venomous arachnids, insects, animals, trees, shrubs, fish and sheep of Australia, volumes 1-42"

Message edited by author 2005-01-28 09:01:47.
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