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 05/15/2013 03:39:41 AM · #1
Hi I'm Serenity and I live in Vancouver BC. I administer a site that lists hundreds of photography contests. If you know of any great photo contests, I'd love to hear about them.
 05/15/2013 03:40:04 AM · #2

Does anyone know a good professional wedding photographer in Vancouver? I have a friend who is getting married.
 05/15/2013 08:44:20 AM · #3
What's your friend's budget. I am EXTREMELY expensive! Will it be an open bar at the reception?
 05/15/2013 09:41:31 AM · #4
I'm even more expensive...and exclusive.

I insist that there be absolutely no other cameras present during the wedding, all guests and participants will be stripped and searched (inside and out). Any contraband cameras will be immediately smashed with a hammer...

I will take only one image during the wedding, using a pinhole camera, recording the sole image on decades old Kodak Super XX sheet film I found in my freezer. At the reception I will get extremely drunk at the mandatory open bar and my kids, wired out of their gourds on Mountain Dew and dressed as Thing One and Thing Two from "The Cat In The Hat", will run amok recording everything with GoPro cameras strapped to their heads.

The wedding image, should it survive the development process, will be printed once at 80"x100" on tissue paper, wadded into a ball and stuffed into a fixed rate USPS box while still wet.

The videos will be edited to remove any footage of me throwing up or soiling myself and the remainder will be uploaded to YouTube for the lucky couple, their guests and anyone else to view and enjoy. No files or discs will be provided.

If travel is required, you will need to arrange (and pay for) transportation via private jet, a number of limousines and drivers sufficient for myself and support crew of 18 (no more that 3 of us to a vehicle for security purposes)to be at our disposal for the duration of our stay and lodging at any 5 star hotel with no more than one person per luxury suite.

Packages start in the high 6 figures.

Message edited by author 2013-05-15 09:49:15.
 05/15/2013 10:18:10 AM · #5
Go with Spork if you want the cheap option.
 05/15/2013 10:19:28 AM · #6
i use my cellphone, I'll do it for dinner and an hour with the bride.
 05/15/2013 10:22:48 AM · #7
I charge roughly the same amount as Spork but I have a different method. I recruit a bridesmaid to buy a hundred disposable cameras (do those still exist?) and I have her distribute them to other guests and tell them to shoot away. Then when the ceremony is over that same bridesmaid takes the cameras to Wal-Mart to be developed. I make a damn nice living as a wedding Photog and I haven't been to a wedding in four years.
 05/15/2013 10:30:36 AM · #8
Originally posted by Contest_Guru:
Hi I'm Serenity and I live in Vancouver BC. I administer a site that lists hundreds of photography contests. If you know of any great photo contests, I'd love to hear about them.

Photo contests? hmm... I've looked around this site but can't seem to find any.
 05/15/2013 10:39:40 AM · #9
I will do it for 90% of what Spork is asking out of the kindness of my heart. I am a most excellent professional photog and have taught many students. Examples of their work is often found on YANAP.
 05/15/2013 12:07:59 PM · #10
oh wow ya'll are tough on spammers
 05/15/2013 12:20:28 PM · #11
Originally posted by Mike:
i use my cellphone, I'll do it for dinner and an hour with the bride.


Just a quick warning, I know this guy, and he doesn't really even own a cellphone, but don't worry, I've got your back. I'll just steal some nice photos from somewhere on the internet, and Photoshop your faces in, no need for dinner or the need to pose for more than one quick snapshot. But I'll only provide my 'services' if the bride is hawt.

Looking forward to your business,
-Cory
 05/15/2013 12:37:27 PM · #12
Originally posted by Cory:
Originally posted by Mike:
i use my cellphone, I'll do it for dinner and an hour with the bride.


Just a quick warning, I know this guy, and he doesn't really even own a cellphone, but don't worry, I've got your back. I'll just steal some nice photos from somewhere on the internet, and Photoshop your faces in, no need for dinner or the need to pose for more than one quick snapshot. But I'll only provide my 'services' if the bride is hawt.

Looking forward to your business,
-Cory


So, you're discriminating against gay couples? Shame shame.
 05/15/2013 12:40:34 PM · #13
Originally posted by chazoe:
Originally posted by Cory:
Originally posted by Mike:
i use my cellphone, I'll do it for dinner and an hour with the bride.


Just a quick warning, I know this guy, and he doesn't really even own a cellphone, but don't worry, I've got your back. I'll just steal some nice photos from somewhere on the internet, and Photoshop your faces in, no need for dinner or the need to pose for more than one quick snapshot. But I'll only provide my 'services' if the bride is hawt.

Looking forward to your business,
-Cory


So, you're discriminating against gay couples? Shame shame.


And ugly people. I'm a horrible person.
 05/15/2013 12:43:04 PM · #14
Originally posted by Cory:
Originally posted by chazoe:
Originally posted by Cory:
Originally posted by Mike:
i use my cellphone, I'll do it for dinner and an hour with the bride.


Just a quick warning, I know this guy, and he doesn't really even own a cellphone, but don't worry, I've got your back. I'll just steal some nice photos from somewhere on the internet, and Photoshop your faces in, no need for dinner or the need to pose for more than one quick snapshot. But I'll only provide my 'services' if the bride is hawt.

Looking forward to your business,
-Cory


So, you're discriminating against gay couples? Shame shame.


And ugly people. I'm a horrible person.


You're eligible to be the CEO of Ambercrombie & Fitch
 05/15/2013 01:40:41 PM · #15
Originally posted by MarkB:
I will do it for 90% of what Spork is asking out of the kindness of my heart. I am a most excellent professional photog and have taught many students. Examples of their work is often found on YANAP.

On that note, the caption on THIS ONE had me rolling!

Now for my pitch: I have a very unique wedding photo business and my rates are very flexible - I have often bartered for drugs and/or alcohol, which works out well for me because while it may not pay the rent, I am just too wasted to care. Here is my portfolio:

05/15/2013 04:32:58 PM · #16
Originally posted by Art Roflmao:
On that note, the caption on THIS ONE had me rolling!


Yup, that one kept me chuckling for a while. She's also very bendy...
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