;o) !
Working with models and beauty is really fun. The downside is you really need a lot of practise in order to create proper illusion of beaty ;D. Especially if you are dealing with basic people, not supermodels.
The lighting is a slight problem, mainly because the runway is so close to wall and the power of built-in flash is not so great. Basically photography is about recording photons (light), so lighting plays crusial role in photography.
Another thing is focal length. Model shooting is done with 35mm - 1200mm. When shooting close to models, you get distortion in the proportions of human body sections since you usuallu use small focal length. Effect is more visible especially if your camera is not at the level of subjects nose/chest.
I have no idea, what is a good focal length for model shoot. I think it depends. It's a tradeoff. More you have focal length, more flat (2d sense) is the result. Try this. Put your lens at minimum fl and shoot a full frame shot of a face. Take neck and shoulders too into the frame. Hold camera at the level of nose. Then put lens at maximum fl and reshoot, again exactly the same compostion. Then compare the proportions of nose in both pictures. Effect is more dramatic if you shoot from high or low angle, lets say having camera at the level of waist for example.
Then compare these images, pay attention especially to chin and neck. If possible, use a normal built person for test shoot. Normal build is not anorexia-body nor really thin. Real models are unrealistic thin for a reason ;D.
In my experience a 80mm focal length tends to make rather normal build people look slightly fat (depending on the body structure, not the actual fat percentage. Most contributing thing is the structure of their ching and neck area). 50mm gives better results but the distortion in proportions of a full body picture gets larger and you have to keep the angle to your subject plane near 90 degrees. Picture 19 of your shoot is an example, where the boots are way out of proportions. This low angle perspective works with smaller focal lengths. If you try this high angle, you get big heads effect which is not desirable in this context.
Personally I think this is the best picture of the set. But then again, I like kinky stuff ;D.
Next time, try larger focal lengths (minimum 50mm) and try to get the camera at the level of model's nose. Problem with this is that you must be farther away, which implies a stronger flash unit. Those little built-in flashes are no good for any photography, other than party snap shots of course. Try to get to a position where model walks straight towards you. I think there are too much angles, lines and forms in your pictures making them too dynamic.
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