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02/13/2004 03:08:10 AM · #1 |
some dreams are only dreams. when i was 10, i used to dream about controlling an army of dinosaurs.. when i was 13, i used to dream about being 10.
by the time i was in the 6th grade I was so disenchanted with reality and systems that I decided to give up on schoolwork.
i was either naive, or enlightened beyond my time - or - i am either regressing from self-actualization or coming to grips with the futility of life. (neither appeals to me)
i feel that my attempts to retain my childhood psyche were in vain.. its scary to think that i have come so far from such clarity.
i can honestly say - in absolute certainty - that my mind has weakened incredibly since my childhood.
i can also say that the nearest i'll come to happiness again is misogyny. didn't see that coming, did you?
it speaks its mind when it feels like it.
anyway.. now i'm 18, an over-qualified drop-out, horribly misguided, and completely without motivation.
it is just.. sickening.. in sixth grade.. i was what? 14? 15?... i didn't just feel happy.. I KNEW secrets to problems that most didn't even consider, so absorbed into their naive 'follow-the-norm' 'memorize regurgitated "knowledge" by writ' lifestyles. adults and children alike. i knew not to sell out to the system -- that there were other options.. and in that knowledge i felt so powerful. hah.. i have come so far.. from that beautiful place.. only to question whether or not I was the one being so naive.. uugh.. i am feeling particularly discouraged.. there is my rant.. have any of you felt this way?
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02/13/2004 05:28:33 AM · #2 |
yes. hence i hope for death everyday. you try going to a school in a foreign country where the national past time is molesting of sheep. - little more serious. yes, i see how it goes, especially being your age, somewhat, it can be tough. no one older cares they just tell you to grow up and stop being so immature. it's as almost that they forgot what they went through. or is that they had the ability to experience life in the 60s with free love and all that jibba-jabba and gain things in their own perspective going out on their own, doing what they feel is right. another reason why i chose to leave vegas to go to the UK and study how the other countries feel toward our own, how they perceive us. that's my enlightment, and with all that i see wrong with the us, i really want to go back. especially due to the dislikes of americans where i am. anyway, to see the other side i can see how people generalize most kids going on adults as screw ups and always have that "i don't care" mentality, and not giving us a chance, thinking we're too stupid too dumb. but all you have to do is forget, and realize that people these are just ignorant and naiive. bush was elected president should give you a pretty good idea right there.
so see you're not the only one out there, just some people are to afraid to show it. |
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02/13/2004 05:54:13 AM · #3 |
I realised a long time ago: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. But you have to try to beat 'em first. By no way am I a conformist. I just reralise when it's more practical to go with the flow.
I'm a very well adjusted and happy dude.
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02/13/2004 07:24:14 AM · #4 |
Originally posted by Jacko:
[...]
I'm a very well adjusted and happy dude. |
Happy? i'm sure you are :), well adjusted? thats debatable :)
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02/13/2004 08:09:10 AM · #5 |
Sorry André, I should have been more specific. I was using you as a benchmark. :P
Oussé que tu te tchens? J'prends une semaine de vacance la semaine du 5 avril. Il faudra qu'on virre une brosse.
Originally posted by Refracted:
Originally posted by Jacko:
[...]
I'm a very well adjusted and happy dude. |
Happy? i'm sure you are :), well adjusted? thats debatable :) |
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02/13/2004 08:45:26 AM · #6 |
Originally posted by Miah:
some dreams are only dreams. when i was 10, i used to dream about controlling an army of dinosaurs.. |
You're just going about it the wrong way. Study the fine arts of robotics and create your own army of robotic dinosaurs which you alone can control. Then, your dreams will no longer just be dreams. (And some people's nightmares will no longer be nightmares...)
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02/13/2004 09:20:42 AM · #7 |
I used to dream I could fly until I was about 14. And then one night I didn't. At the time I knew I would never have those dreams again and have felt at a loss ever since. Everything was so real in the dreams. Perspective, landmarks and the people were just like they would have been in real life.
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