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07/24/2008 09:50:17 PM · #576
Originally posted by karmat:

Yankee or Dixie?

(Obviously has an American bias, though "far-ners" might have interesting results.)

Mine 83% Dixie. :)


That was fun! I'm 44% Yankee (just barely a Yankee)!
07/24/2008 09:53:35 PM · #577
53% (Dixie). Barely into the Dixie category.

all of my answers were in the "Great Lakes" category ....

Originally posted by karmat:

Yankee or Dixie?

(Obviously has an American bias, though "far-ners" might have interesting results.)

Mine 83% Dixie. :)
07/24/2008 10:36:19 PM · #578
96% (Dixie). Is General Lee your father?

I can live with that!
07/24/2008 10:52:15 PM · #579
61% (Dixie). A definitive Southern score!

That was fun! :)
07/24/2008 10:52:25 PM · #580
38% (Yankee). A definitive Yankee.

Not bad EH!
07/24/2008 10:54:07 PM · #581
85% Dixie......did you have confederate ancestors? Just Texans, y'all
07/24/2008 11:00:37 PM · #582
60% (Dixie). Barely into the Dixie category.

SWEET!!!! I CAN BE IN THE FAMILY, I CAN BE IN THE FAMILY!!!!! explaination...I'm actually from Colorado but being in the Navy I haven't lived there in 20 years. My wife and in-laws are from Kentucky and told me that when I retire and get to move home I have to stop pronouncing the ING on everything. My brother-in-laws son even asked once..."what are you? You're not from the south so your not a southerner, you're not from the north so you're not a yankee, what the heck are ya?" lol Real funny thing is, I just called my bro-in-law and gave him the quiz and he only scored 76% lol...the man ain't lived no where BUT Kentucky lol.
07/24/2008 11:22:22 PM · #583
52% (Dixie). Barely into the Dixie category.
07/24/2008 11:32:36 PM · #584
Hope this finds your funny bone:)~

MAX!

Originally posted by Quigley:

Originally posted by snaffles:

Originally posted by Quigley:

Originally posted by NikonJeb:

Just thought I'd pass this on so y'all can see what we've got with Max.....8>)

' . substr('//images.dpchallenge.com/images_portfolio/75000-79999/75034/120/661059.jpg', strrpos('//images.dpchallenge.com/images_portfolio/75000-79999/75034/120/661059.jpg', '/') + 1) . '


I have some in my freezer so I can be the first to make a snowman in the winter. He's just sitting in the deep freeze waiting for the cooler weather :)

MAX!


You stored snow from last year in your freezer....ummmmhmmm...*pulling up chair next to couch* and how long have you had this masochistic compulsion to hoard amounts of cold white stuff, Mr Quigley?...:-)


Well Doc it's like this:

It's been a compulsive thing, ever since my first snowman was eaten by the tooth fairy. Not to mention the Easter bunny taking the carrot I saved all fall for the nose and then the note signed the Jolly Old Fat Man in Red, that read as follows (I saved it and memorized it):

"Dear Max:

As you know I take great pride in delivering presents to all the good little boys and girls, but as you are also aware (from past years) I give out coal to the bad ones.
Well this year I have some good news for you, because Santa (or one of my helpers) left his sack of coal on the kitchen counter, I find myself without coal for all the bad little ones.
Here's the good news, (for you anyway) I saw your snowman from your roof top and since your a real little bugger (I mean that in the kindest way of course) you have quite a collection, so I helped myself to it, (and here's the good part) I left you 2 dozen "Pet Rocks", they're all the rage this year and I've been handing them out like candy.

That being said, I would like to thank you for taking such good care of your coal, there's hope for you yet. I hope you enjoy your "Pet Rocks". See you next year."

Thank you

The Jolly Old Fat Man in Red

Santa.

Can you believe that jerk, taking my hard earned coal like that to give to some other little brats.

So I sat right down after reading his note and fired off a short one of my own.

"Dear Santa:

You rotten, no good, old fart that wears red. You got me seeing red by taking my snowman coal and now I have no eyes or shirt buttons that show up well in the dark, and what was the BIG idea of leaving me a sack full of useless rocks? I mean what the hell am I supposed to do with 2 dozen perfectly round rocks...... Never mind, I just unwrapped a sling shot from my older brother, I can't wait to see you next year, I think I'll stay up. Don't forget the coal, you thieving old fart, or else."

Yours truly

MAX!

WOW (wipes away tears) I think we had a break through ' . substr('//www.dpchallenge.com/images/user_icon/21_F.gif', strrpos('//www.dpchallenge.com/images/user_icon/21_F.gif', '/') + 1) . ' snaffles I've never told anybody that before, not even my wife. I feel great. I heading to the freezer right now to let frosty out so he can return to the atmosphere from whence he came. Then I'll sit my whole family down and tell of the progress we have made in such a short time. Do you do groups??

Yours in kind

MAX!
07/24/2008 11:47:11 PM · #585
78% (Dixie). That is a pretty strong Southern score!

Yikes! ROFLMAO!!! ('Course, any o' "y'all" that really know me, won't be at'all surprised...)

07/25/2008 04:31:02 AM · #586
55% (Dixie). Barely into the Dixie category.

I've always been a moderate, but slightly rebellious.
07/25/2008 06:12:35 AM · #587
42% (Yankee). Barely into the Yankee category.

Hmm...Would "you guys" like to pick up some "pop" and go "TPing" on "Devils night"? I guess we like to do that here in Michigan. :P

Message edited by author 2008-07-25 06:15:14.
07/25/2008 06:43:00 AM · #588
** Warning: This post has been hidden as it may content mature content. Click here to show the post.
07/25/2008 06:59:50 AM · #589
48% (Yankee). Barely into the Yankee category.

And I'm from Edinburgh! ;-D
07/25/2008 07:29:29 AM · #590
Hmm, I'm 63% Dixie, yet never been further east in the US than Utah/Arizona. I actually had trouble with the first question, because none of the answers is the way I pronounce "aunt". I pronounce it the Australian way. ;-Þ
07/25/2008 02:43:03 PM · #591
46% (Yankee). Barely into the Yankee category.
my only big question is...what "dixie" mean???? :-D
(I 'm from Argentina)
07/25/2008 03:43:31 PM · #592
Dixie means from the southeastern bit of the United States. :)

44% Yankee...makes sense, I live in Indiana but my mom's from kentucky :) so I say y'all :)
08/12/2008 04:59:51 PM · #593
Received from: Lorraine --

A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up three cans and took them to the check out counter. The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat."

The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.

The next day, she tried to buy three cans of dog food. Again the cashier demanded proof that she had a dog, because old people sometimes eat dog food. She went home and brought in her dog. She then got the dog food.

The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole. The cashier said, "No, you might have a snake in there."

The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, "That smells like sh*t."

The little old lady said, "It is. Now can I buy three rolls of toilet paper?"
08/15/2008 01:28:32 PM · #594
Cajun Sex

Last May, Boudreaux married an attractive woman, Lola, half his age.
After several months, Lola complained that she had never climaxed during sex; and according to her Grand Momma, all Cajun women are entitled to a climax once in a while.

So, to resolve the problem, they went to see the large-animal Vet since there was no trustworthy doctor anywhere in Pierre Part.

The Vet didn't have a clue, but he did recall how, during the hot summer, his Momma and Daddy would fan a cow with a big towel that was having any difficulty breeding. This would cool her down and make her relax.
So, the Vet told them to hire a strong, virile, young man to wave a big towel over them while they were having sex. This, the Vet said, would cause the young wife to cool down, relax, then climax.

So the couple hired a strong young man from the big city of Houma to wave that big towel over them as the Vet suggested.

After many efforts, Lola still had not climaxed! They went back to the Vet. The Vet said for Lola to change partners and let the young man have sex with her while Boudreaux waved the big towel.

They tried it that night and Lola went into wild, screaming, ear-splitting climaxes, one right after the other for about two and a half hours.

When it was over, Boudreaux looked down at the exhausted young man and in a cocky manner said, 'And dat, my friend, is how you wave a towel!'
08/15/2008 09:20:02 PM · #595
Originally posted by DefyTime:

Two muffins are sitting in an oven, one looks over to the other and says, "Man it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "AAAHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!!"

But they tasted DELICIOUS!! MUWAHAHA!
08/15/2008 09:44:27 PM · #596
Originally posted by Brad:

Originally posted by Pedro:

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says: "why the long face?"

Thought that was Celine Dion?
:)
Hey, Shes a good singer and pretty! Dont hate!
08/15/2008 09:56:05 PM · #597
Some recent discoveries of mine:

The Gymnast you won't see at the Olympics

How to tell if your ass is too small

My whole family thinks I'm gay
08/15/2008 10:20:10 PM · #598
[quote]well...that will make the $1147.50 check I have to write to the mechanic for a new transmission in my old Suburban at least LOOK a lot less painful... LOL ;o) [/quote]
Oh my...
08/18/2008 03:25:53 PM · #599
' . substr('//images.dpchallenge.com/images_portfolio/25000-29999/25095/120/711779.jpg', strrpos('//images.dpchallenge.com/images_portfolio/25000-29999/25095/120/711779.jpg', '/') + 1) . '

as in the description...not my image, don't know the people or who made it...just too fricken funny.
09/03/2008 12:21:48 PM · #600
From today's email ...

Apples and Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that are not as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now men...men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
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