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DPChallenge Forums >> General Discussion >> Things only a nerd will understand
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10/30/2013 10:30:53 PM · #1
Things
10/30/2013 10:54:54 PM · #2
hahah!
10/30/2013 11:14:40 PM · #3
ROFL! Those are priceless. Gotta file some of them for use on unsuspecting co-workers :-)
10/30/2013 11:39:34 PM · #4
Indeed... Some are pretty corny, but some really are great.

By the way, avoid the logician shit in RL. People who answer "yes" to questions like "Would you like to eat now or later?" are technically correct, but still should be promptly kicked in the testicles. ;)
10/30/2013 11:42:22 PM · #5
Originally posted by Cory:

Indeed... Some are pretty corny, but some really are great.

By the way, avoid the logician shit in RL. People who answer "yes" to questions like "Would you like to eat now or later?" are technically correct, but still should be promptly kicked in the testicles. ;)


even logicians only do that to be an ass[i think].
10/31/2013 02:21:41 PM · #6
' . substr('https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1395878_785221601507295_499865698_n.jpg', strrpos('https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1395878_785221601507295_499865698_n.jpg', '/') + 1) . '
10/31/2013 02:32:03 PM · #7
Now I'm picturing a math teacher re-configuring the hopscotch layout ... :-)
10/31/2013 03:24:16 PM · #8
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all). When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the engineers don't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asked one perplexed accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
10/31/2013 06:01:56 PM · #9
Originally posted by Spork99:

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference...


This one is a classic, yes indeed. I never tire of it. Then again, I am an engineer ;-)
10/31/2013 11:32:41 PM · #10
Originally posted by Cory:

Indeed... Some are pretty corny, but some really are great.

By the way, avoid the logician shit in RL. People who answer "yes" to questions like "Would you like to eat now or later?" are technically correct, but still should be promptly kicked in the testicles. ;)


well, next time you see me, ro-sham-bo away
11/01/2013 08:44:51 AM · #11
A doctor, a lawyer and an engineer were discussing the relative merits of having a wife or a mistress.

The lawyer says: "For sure a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it causes all sorts of legal problems."

The doctor says: "It's better to have a wife because the sense of security lowers your stress and is good for your health."

The engineer says: "You're both wrong. It's best to have both so that the wife thinks you're with the mistress and the mistress thinks you're with your wife --- then you can sneak off to the lab and get some work done."
11/01/2013 08:47:53 AM · #12
And as a way to illustrate Zeno's paradox:

An engineer, a mathematician, and a theoretical physicist went to a dance. Shyly they positioned themselves against a wall where they had a good view of the dance.
The mathematician sighed heavily and said “I wish I could go ask one of those people sitting at that table over there to dance with me, but it is impossible.”
“Why is that?” asked the theoretical physicist.
“If I go halfway over to the table, I will still have halfway to go” replied the Mathematician.
“Yes” Said the engineer.
“Then if I cover half the remaining distance I will still have a quarter of the way to go” Said the mathematician.
“Yes” Replied the engineer.
The mathematician continued “I can then cover half the remaining distance, but a 16th of the distance remains.”
The theoretical physicist chimed in “Everytime you cover half the distance to the table a small but calculatable amount of distance remains.”
“Right!” said the mathematician “So it impossible for me to go over there and ask for a dance”
The physicist was about to commiserate with a “too bad for us” when the Engineer got up and walked over to the table.
The physicist and the mathematician watched in amazement as the engineer asked a particularly attractive young lady to dance, proceeded to dance with her, gave her a lingering kiss, and then came back to their place on the wall.
“How did you do that?” asked the physicist in awe.
“Although you were correct I calculated that I would be able to get close enough for any purpose I could think of”
11/01/2013 11:13:14 AM · #13
Somebody should tell that poor lonely mathematician and physicist about calculus.
11/01/2013 11:54:55 AM · #14
Is it sad that, not only did I understand them all, but several of them caused audible laughter?
11/01/2013 12:24:52 PM · #15
Originally posted by kudzu:

Is it sad that, not only did I understand them all, but several of them caused audible laughter?

Ditto. And I'M a poet. So's Don for that matter. We may have to give up our licenses :-)
11/01/2013 01:00:34 PM · #16
Originally posted by Bear_Music:

Originally posted by kudzu:

Is it sad that, not only did I understand them all, but several of them caused audible laughter?

Ditto. And I'M a poet. So's Don for that matter. We may have to give up our licenses :-)

Your licenses should be safe ...

ampere by Basingstoke and John Wellington Wells

When an ampere, a volt, and an ohm
Went out drinking with coulomb in Rome,
Volt shot coulomb's drink
Through ohm's straw to the sink
Just to prove he could drive ampere home.

An ampere (one coulomb [KOO-lahm] per second) is the current that flows through the resistance of one ohm when one volt of electromotive force is applied. Current is usually referred to as flowing from source to sink. The sobriety test is poetic license.
11/01/2013 03:16:44 PM · #17
Originally posted by posthumous:

Somebody should tell that poor lonely mathematician and physicist about calculus.


Well, Zeno's Paradox is all about infinitesimals...Cauchy showed that it's not necessary to use infinitesimals to explain calculus.

11/01/2013 04:29:26 PM · #18
Originally posted by Spork99:

Originally posted by posthumous:

Somebody should tell that poor lonely mathematician and physicist about calculus.


Well, Zeno's Paradox is all about infinitesimals...Cauchy showed that it's not necessary to use infinitesimals to explain calculus.


well, if I were a mathematician I would be offended by your joke.
11/01/2013 05:53:18 PM · #19
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Or

There are two types of people, those who can not reach logical conclusion.
11/01/2013 06:56:37 PM · #20
greatest science video
11/01/2013 07:09:31 PM · #21
Originally posted by LanndonKane:

greatest science video


Here is the greatest Canadian science video series.
Eureka Physics Videos
11/02/2013 02:33:09 PM · #22
Originally posted by VitaminB:

Originally posted by LanndonKane:

greatest science video


Here is the greatest Canadian science video series.
Eureka Physics Videos


I don't think you watched mine quitee long enough
11/02/2013 09:42:20 PM · #23
GNU

Gnu is Not Unix

It's recursive...
11/02/2013 10:05:49 PM · #24
Originally posted by LanndonKane:

Originally posted by VitaminB:

Originally posted by LanndonKane:

greatest science video


Here is the greatest Canadian science video series.
Eureka Physics Videos


I don't think you watched mine quitee long enough


I fully admit that I watched the first minute, got bored, and made my post :D

This one may be more appropriate, again from Canada: Spiders on Drugs

Message edited by author 2013-11-02 22:06:38.
11/02/2013 10:25:36 PM · #25
LMAO!!
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