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Showing posts 251 - 275 of 496, (reverse)
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09/10/2009 05:22:57 PM · #251
A: My Uncle Billy

Q: Would you like to own a monkey?
09/10/2009 06:40:17 PM · #252
A: Only if it could fly, and belonged to the proper witch... but since Cowboy seemed to have retconned that particular detail, I'm not sure what to believe anymore!

Q: If faced with a plague of carrion beetles, who would you kill to distract them enough to get away?
09/10/2009 06:50:30 PM · #253
A: The opossums who ravage through my garbage at night

Q: Why do some NFL teams never change their uniforms and always keep their original design?

Message edited by author 2009-09-10 20:13:30.
09/11/2009 08:25:22 AM · #254
A: For easier recognition which equals selling more merchandice

Q: Why have NFL Players gotten so greedy?
09/11/2009 03:47:52 PM · #255
Actually, I think I've begun to notice that its the teams with Super Bowl titles that stick to their old threads.

A: Greedy because the sport is so rough that a career can end anytime.

Q: Do fans cry at ballgames because their team lost, or because they didnt get the chance to celebrate?
09/11/2009 03:57:31 PM · #256
A: Because their team lost. They will get drunk either way.

Q: How much does John Madden weigh?
09/11/2009 04:01:01 PM · #257
A: It must be a lot, the gravitational pull won't allow him to escape Football.

Q: It's a gorgeous september day. I'm stuck with a moody 2 year old. What do I do to kill 4 hours?
09/11/2009 04:03:55 PM · #258
Q: It's a gorgeous september day. I'm stuck with a moody 2 year old. What do I do to kill 4 hours?

A: Take a short trip somewhere close by (playground, shopping, beach, etc.) and take photos of him/her. Show them to him/her as you take them.

Q: What is a real-life example of using a class factory design pattern?

Message edited by author 2009-09-11 16:04:10.
09/11/2009 04:27:08 PM · #259
A: In seismic acquisition and modeling software, CFDPs can be used to model different sedimentary layers. Although the sediment compositions created by the (or various) factories are (may be) different, the interactions among the various layers, in response to different stresses (heat & pressure), remain the same.

Q: Is there an immediate cure for writer's block?
09/11/2009 04:37:30 PM · #260
A: Writer's Ex-Lax

Q: Why did they make ex-lax look so much like chocolate? Mmmm, Chocolate.
09/11/2009 04:41:13 PM · #261
A: Yes, motivation is the cure. The key is finding a way to get motivated. Otherwise, just create extra dialogue, something will come up. Or try coffee, extra bold!

A: A reminder of things to come.

Q: Is art therapeutic?

Message edited by author 2009-09-11 16:42:33.
09/11/2009 04:45:38 PM · #262
Q: Is art therapeutic?

A: Yes, as is his woody figurines.

Q: Why do many superheros wear capes?

09/11/2009 04:50:46 PM · #263
A: Capes and Masks because they are outlaws.

Q: Why is Batman the best?
09/11/2009 05:11:58 PM · #264
A: He's only the best if you don't get in his F***ing scene. How would you like it if he trashed your lights?

Q: Where in the a world is Carmen San Diego?

Message edited by author 2009-09-11 17:12:20.
09/11/2009 05:40:28 PM · #265
Where in the a world is Carmen San Diego?

A. She bolted back to visit relatives and grab another bag of contraband.

Q. Where in the world is Juan Valdez?


09/11/2009 06:06:27 PM · #266
Working as a Barista at the local Bagel Beanery.

Why ask Why?
09/11/2009 06:10:47 PM · #267
Why ask Why?

A: Because it is shorter than asking "Why not?"

Q: Why is the United States not using the metric system?

09/11/2009 07:20:06 PM · #268
Why is the United States not using the metric system?

A. We use the king's English standard because we secretly lost the Revolutionary War. King George let the colonies pretend to be independent, but we had to promise to use his body parts to measure everything (his feet for feet, his kingly part for inches, etc.) And we had to promise to slowly creep back to a government of taxation without representation.

A2. Or maybe it's because the metric system is just silly and difficult...

Q. Who scratched my cell phone?

Message edited by author 2009-09-11 19:20:37.
09/11/2009 07:21:42 PM · #269
Who scratched my cell phone?

A: I did it remotely from my iPhone (there's an app for that)

Q: What was the working title of Joseph Heller's a best-selling "Catch 22"?

edit to add RE: the metric system - I remember learning about it in the 70's when the US was just inches away from adopting it.

Message edited by author 2009-09-11 19:22:59.
09/11/2009 07:38:46 PM · #270

What was the working title of Joseph Heller's a best-selling "Catch 22"?

A. "Catch 18" but unfortunately catches 1 through 21 were already taken. So Mr. Helle reluctantly agreed upon Catch 22, even though it was on the 22nd of August that his favorite dog died of Canine Influenza, and his sister's great aunt Dorothy was run over by a run-away milk truck as she stooped to pick up the morning's dairy delivery.

Q. If you stick in your thumb and pull out a plum, what will you get if you stick in your pinky?


09/11/2009 07:43:42 PM · #271
A: a hippopotamus

Q: What TV sitcom couple was the first to share a double bed?
09/11/2009 08:37:19 PM · #272
A: ... Edited by FCC

Q: If the platypus was a DPC member who would it be?
09/11/2009 09:28:58 PM · #273
If the platypus was a DPC member who would it be?

A: ' . substr('//images.dpchallenge.com/images_portfolio/25000-29999/28742/120/820597.jpg', strrpos('//images.dpchallenge.com/images_portfolio/25000-29999/28742/120/820597.jpg', '/') + 1) . '

Q: What is the literal meaning of the Italian word Linguine?
09/11/2009 09:37:52 PM · #274
A: tongues
Q: How long can you hold your breath?
09/11/2009 11:16:47 PM · #275

How long can you hold your breath?

a. Until I pass out

Q. Where would the world be if there were no springs?


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