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10/18/2009 01:31:33 AM · #376
Q. If a snow flake fell in a jungle, on a tree, and that tree fell when know one was around, what kind of flower was smashed by the tree?

A: Hibiscus

Q: Why is a person who plays a piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not a racist?


10/18/2009 02:19:47 AM · #377

Q: Why is a person who plays a piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not a racist?

A: Because a piano is a piano, but there are many kinds of races?

************

Q: If corn oil comes from corn and olive oil comes from olives, where the heck does baby oil come from?

R.
10/19/2009 01:05:06 AM · #378
A: Your Mom

Q: Why do some dogs piss sitting down and other piss with one leg up? No matter if it's a male or female...
10/20/2009 01:49:28 AM · #379
A: I've never seen a female hike her leg. They usually squat. Some males never do much in the hiking department either and it might have something to do with being neutered and at what point it their life it happened. All puppies squat, no matter what the sex. Males hike because they are marking and claiming their territory. Male cats do so as well by spraying. Not a fun thing.

Q: Where in the World is Carmen SanDiego?

Message edited by author 2009-10-20 01:51:16.
10/20/2009 02:04:19 AM · #380
Originally posted by Jutilda:

Q: Where in the World is Carmen SanDiego?

A: I believe Carmen is here.

Q: Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?

10/20/2009 07:25:32 PM · #381
A: That's the way most American's choose to live...

Q: Can a blue person sing the whites???
10/21/2009 08:40:57 AM · #382
Originally posted by ColemanGariety:

A: That's the way most American's choose to live...

Q: Can a blue person sing the whites???


A. No because you can't hold your breath and sing at the same time.

Q. Was I right when I told the encyclopedia salesman that I didn't need his books because I am a married man and that between my wife and daughter they know everything?
10/21/2009 08:56:40 AM · #383
Originally posted by RayEthier:

A. No because you can't hold your breath and sing at the same time.

Q. Was I right when I told the encyclopedia salesman that I didn't need his books because I am a married man and that between my wife and daughter they know everything?


A. No - that's just a fallacy we hope the men of the world believe.

Q. Who is the mess-fairy and why do they inhabit MY house ?
12/17/2009 03:57:56 PM · #384
A. There is no such thing as a Mess-Fairy but there is a little I-Don't-Like-To-Clean-House-Fairy who shows up only when invited.

Q. Does anyone know the name of the man-in-the-moon?
12/17/2009 04:21:59 PM · #385
A: Jim

Q: Why is there always room for Jell-o?
12/18/2009 12:58:44 AM · #386
A: Because your refrigerator is too big?

Q: Why is the person that invests all your money called a "broker"?
12/18/2009 01:32:47 AM · #387
A: Because that's what he actually does, he just doesn't want you to think that

Q: Why does everything taste like chicken?
12/22/2009 01:03:25 PM · #388
A: Actually, everything tastes like carrots.

Q: Did you see those little ice droppings the snowman left in the front yard?
12/22/2009 01:39:48 PM · #389
Originally posted by MissBoDeenz:

A: Actually, everything tastes like carrots.

Q: Did you see those little ice droppings the snowman left in the front yard?


A. Actually those were NOT droppings but rather a part of his appendage... given how cold it is. :O)

Q: Does global warming occur only in the southern climes... sure hasn't arrived here yet.
12/24/2009 12:44:12 PM · #390
A: Global Warming, aka Mother Nature's Hot Flashes, occur only when provoked.
Q: Should Santa get a grill?
12/24/2009 02:08:42 PM · #391
Originally posted by MissBoDeenz:

A: Global Warming, aka Mother Nature's Hot Flashes, occur only when provoked.
Q: Should Santa get a grill?


A: Yes, seeing Santa with gold teeth would impress Mrs. Claus. Oh, wait... you didnt mean grillz?

Q: Who is the fairest of them all?
12/24/2009 02:25:50 PM · #392
A. The one looking back at you in the mirror.

Q Why does one park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Message edited by author 2009-12-24 14:26:07.
12/24/2009 05:06:59 PM · #393
08/12/2009 08:30:17 PM
Originally posted by Bear_Music:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do we drive on a parkway?

A: because people park on the driveway
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Q: Have you been here long?

12/24/2009 05:41:14 PM · #394
A: Was that a direct question to me or Bear_Music?

Q: How can Santa Clause keep up with the Sun while still leaving presents all around the world?
12/24/2009 05:48:40 PM · #395
Originally posted by ColemanGariety:


Q: How can Santa Clause keep up with the Sun while still leaving presents all around the world?


A: nobody knows

Q: where'd you come from?
12/24/2009 08:28:43 PM · #396
Originally posted by David Ey:

Q: where'd you come from?

I'm descended from a line my mother once heard......

Creamy or crunchy PB?
12/24/2009 08:33:52 PM · #397
Crunchy.

Naughty or nice?
12/25/2009 12:30:11 AM · #398
Oh, naughty is far more fun!!!

No makeup or makeup?

12/25/2009 01:24:03 AM · #399
No makeup, I prefer natural beauty :]

B&W or Color?
12/25/2009 02:11:32 AM · #400
Originally posted by Eagle40Fox2:

No makeup, I prefer natural beauty :] (How refreshing!) :)

Q; B&W or Color?


A: I physically see in color, but to be a good photographer, I need to better "see" in b&w.

Q: What is it that makes people creep themselves out in the dark???
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