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08/09/2015 07:34:24 AM |
*Hello from Sid and the Critique Club*
A flower study that partially meets the challenge.
Your commendable attempt to portray death meets the challenge in as much as the decay of the dying flower head itself conveys a feeling of the final stages of the flower's life. However, completely counter to that is the effect that the lighting is having on the front petals, it has rejuvenated and breathed a new life into them making them look much fresher than is desirable for your purposes.
I think you would have been a lot more successful to have done this in its natural environment with natural light only, perhaps using reflectors if needed. In situ this would have probably given you opportunity to repeat the theme with other decaying debris in soft focus and thus convey the feeling much more successfully. Equally, where this also fails is that the focus is on those front parts of the flower where it looks freshest, I think if your focus had been on the most withered petals with the front in soft focus that would have moved the emphasis from the freshest to the deadest parts of the flower and may well have been a lot more successful.
I'm very pleased to see that you have received several comments offering some constructive critique, (I only ever look at the comments after making my own) much of which seems to concur with the points I have raised and offers more observation that I didn't. I hope our collective efforts help, thanks for submitting, Sid |
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 Photographer found comment helpful. |
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02/25/2015 06:22:02 PM |
| It did catch my eye for a second look, but it really didn't seem to have a good focal point. I think the dead space (no pun intended) on the right detracted from the impact. I think I voted a 5. |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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02/25/2015 04:12:59 PM |
| I gave it a five. I admire much of your work, but this just didn't do much for me. I am not good at flower macros, so there are probably better folks to explain what might be missing from this image. The center of the flower and the petals around the edges are in focus, and things between are soft. I think my eyes bounce between these areas and struggle to find what I should be focused on. Perhaps it would be better have the eye drawn to a single area in focus. I agree with Jon that the vibrant yellow areas may not have helped with a darker theme like Death. |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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02/25/2015 03:54:05 PM |
I feel like it's too monotonous. Obviously that's the color of the flower, but being a bright yellow flower, even though it's dying, with the even light doesn't give a "death" kind of vibe.
Visually, the shapes and composition are OK but just OK. Not too pleasing to my eye personally. The technical aren't bad although the small reflection to the right seems to remove it even more from the "death" theme, by making it obvious that the flower is on a shiny surface.
I think had it been on some dirt, maybe with some harder light or some grungy processing, it might have done better.
Plus, I don't think a lot of people will associate wilting flowers very closely with death, even if it's a very literal portrayal of death. |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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