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01/01/2011 02:10:59 PM · #1 |
Removed because this thread has gone to the dogs...
Message edited by author 2011-01-03 23:04:57. |
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01/01/2011 02:16:36 PM · #2 |
Wow, that's over the top. I understand folks snatching shots while the official photographer is working, but to be that intrusive and yet unapologetic is unforgivable.
Although the maid of honor was the go-to, she obviously had a conflict. In this, case, perhaps better to advise the bride that the behavior of the guest was going to have a negative impact on the quality of the results she could expect. She could have asked the MoH to tell the BF to tone it down. |
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01/01/2011 02:18:02 PM · #3 |
I would give him a cord to hold on, to help me out a little... for the lights of course :P
Message edited by author 2011-01-01 14:18:49. |
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01/01/2011 02:18:11 PM · #4 |
Sounds like you handled it as best as you could, except for blowing up at the end. I don't have any great ideas for you, though. It was a difficult situation. You could not just pack up and leave, since you were expected to photograph the event. I expect he honestly thought he was being helpful and that his advice would be appreciated. He probably also has a poor sense of boundaries and he crossed them in a major way.
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01/01/2011 03:01:13 PM · #5 |
Originally posted by Yo_Spiff:
Sounds like you handled it as best as you could, except for blowing up at the end. I don't have any great ideas for you, though. It was a difficult situation. You could not just pack up and leave, since you were expected to photograph the event. I expect he honestly thought he was being helpful and that his advice would be appreciated. He probably also has a poor sense of boundaries and he crossed them in a major way. |
I'm actually fairly certain he was NOT trying to be helpful. He was being very condescending.
He was making snide comments most of the time. For example, my radio triggers failed part way through the portraits and I switched to cables. He said that 'no professional would EVER bother with cables.' That's when I finally started to loose some cool and replied back that real professionals always have a backup plan, and that I could have used my optical triggers if he'd stop flashing his light all over the place.
I think part of it was that he has older and felt that automatically made him more experienced.
He also had the audacity to hand me a business card and tell me to call him when I was ready for an apprenticeship. |
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01/01/2011 03:13:20 PM · #6 |
| Wow thats a major hassle. Its a really tough subject too because you are expected to be professional throughout this whole time. |
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01/01/2011 03:16:13 PM · #7 |
| sounds like you found a new paragraph to add to the contract and make sure the bride/groom read and initial that part |
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01/01/2011 03:21:32 PM · #8 |
Originally posted by smardaz:
sounds like you found a new paragraph to add to the contract and make sure the bride/groom read and initial that part |
Now that's not a bad idea at all. |
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01/01/2011 03:32:46 PM · #9 |
I wonder if the MoH had something in mind for the shots such as a present to the bride. That would put the boyfriend in a tough position of having to get the shots or else. I find that people who are being rude or inconsiderate are often under pressures that aren't apparent to other people.
Could it be the boyfriend DID have more experience? That doesn't excuse his behavior, but it may also explain his feeling that he needed to "take over". I don't see how old you are, and we all know age doesn't necessarily reflect skill (a la JoeyL). Did you have an official contract with the bride? or were you the "official" photographer by verbal agreement only? The boyfriend may not have respected the latter.
All that probably doesn't help you, but I'm just looking for explanations for what seems like very bizarre behavior.
Message edited by author 2011-01-01 15:37:59. |
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01/01/2011 03:36:12 PM · #10 |
Those additional details about his snide remarks make all the difference. Sounds like a bit of ego stroking on his part. DrAchoo does have a point that there may have been other issues at play. However, perception is reality.
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01/01/2011 03:39:41 PM · #11 |
Originally posted by DrAchoo:
I wonder if the MoH had something in mind for the shots as a present to the bride. That would put the boyfriend in a tough position of having to get the shots or else. I find that people who are being rude or inconsiderate are often under pressures that aren't apparent to other people.
Could it be the boyfriend DID have more experience? That doesn't excuse his behavior, but it may also explain his feeling that he needed to "take over". I don't see how old you are, and we all know age doesn't necessarily reflect skill (a la JoeyL). Did you have an official contract with the bride? or were you the "official" photographer by verbal agreement only? The boyfriend may not have respected the latter.
All that probably doesn't help you, but I'm just looking for explanations for what seems like very bizarre behavior. |
Its possible he did but he seemed like he wasn't that skilled. That's mostly conjecture though.
He looked to be in his 40's, I'm 28 so its not like I'm the teenage photographer. I was the official photographer with a signed contract and the bride introduced me before the wedding as such.
That is an interesting take on it though. I'd not thought of it in that light. |
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01/01/2011 04:07:38 PM · #12 |
| MoH BF's nose out of joint that he wasn't asked to photograph the wedding? And assuming you are of the female persuasion, just possibly something else kicked in? |
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01/01/2011 04:10:53 PM · #13 |
Originally posted by tnun:
MoH BF's nose out of joint that he wasn't asked to photograph the wedding? And assuming you are of the female persuasion, just possibly something else kicked in? |
Heh, no. I'm a Guy. And the bride had never met him, and he's only been dating the MoH for a
Few weeks so that's probably not likely in this case. |
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01/01/2011 04:19:41 PM · #14 |
Originally posted by punk_kaos:
I was the official photographer with a signed contract and the bride introduced me before the wedding as such. |
In which case you go to the people with whom you have the contract and say "I can't fulfill my contract with this guy in the way" and let them tell him to get lost. If you have a signed contract, you probably even have grounds to sue the guy -- haul him into small-claims court and see what a judge has to say ... |
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01/01/2011 04:32:30 PM · #15 |
It sounds like you handled it the best you could under the circumstances, although I would not have had a problem approaching the MoH to request her assistance. To her you could have said you were contracted by the bride, and although you had no problem sharing the photography responsibilities, this gentleman (would not have referred to him as "her boyfriend") was making your job impossible. Under no circumstances would I have complained to the bride - that would have been a no-win situation. But perhaps sidled up to the mother of the bride, who cares very much how her daughter is going to look.
And I would most certainly include a line about it in your contract.
This is why I don't do weddings :-) |
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01/01/2011 04:39:38 PM · #16 |
You didn't go to the MoH because he was her BF? Who better to get him under control?
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01/01/2011 04:44:10 PM · #17 |
Originally posted by punk_kaos:
... He also had the audacity to hand me a business card and tell me to call him when I was ready for an apprenticeship. |
Whoa! Whatever his skills (or yours), I think that shows he has a big ego problem.
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01/01/2011 04:45:19 PM · #18 |
Originally posted by fotomann_forever:
You didn't go to the MoH because he was her BF? Who better to get him under control? |
She was very enamored with what he was doing. Which may actually have something to do with why he was doing it now that I think about it. |
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01/01/2011 05:06:33 PM · #19 |
Originally posted by citymars:
Originally posted by punk_kaos:
... He also had the audacity to hand me a business card and tell me to call him when I was ready for an apprenticeship. |
Whoa! Whatever his skills (or yours), I think that shows he has a big ego problem. |
At this point I am DYING to see his website and yours |
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01/01/2011 05:09:53 PM · #20 |
Originally posted by smardaz:
Originally posted by citymars:
Originally posted by punk_kaos:
... He also had the audacity to hand me a business card and tell me to call him when I was ready for an apprenticeship. |
Whoa! Whatever his skills (or yours), I think that shows he has a big ego problem. |
At this point I am DYING to see his website and yours |
I'll post them when I get home and can get his business card. I'm semi curious as well, though
No amount of skill excuses rudeness like that in my book.
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01/01/2011 05:13:26 PM · #21 |
Originally posted by punk_kaos:
Originally posted by smardaz:
Originally posted by citymars:
Originally posted by punk_kaos:
... He also had the audacity to hand me a business card and tell me to call him when I was ready for an apprenticeship. |
Whoa! Whatever his skills (or yours), I think that shows he has a big ego problem. |
At this point I am DYING to see his website and yours |
I'll post them when I get home and can get his business card. I'm semi curious as well, though
No amount of skill excuses rudeness like that in my book. |
agreed, i just find that usually the cockier they are the worse they are. The REALLY good photogs dont act like that and often times dont have time to take on an apprentice |
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01/01/2011 05:20:02 PM · #22 |
| My question is what was the bride and the brides mother doing during all of this??? If I was the bride or the brides mother I would be furious. You should have gone to one of these two people and explained what he was doing would ruin the shots they were paying for and have them ask him to leave. |
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01/01/2011 05:23:13 PM · #23 |
Originally posted by sjhuls:
My question is what was the bride and the brides mother doing during all of this??? If I was the bride or the brides mother I would be furious. You should have gone to one of these two people and explained what he was doing would ruin the shots they were paying for and have them ask him to leave. |
The mother wasn't in attendance, and the bride was kinda "whatever happens is great with us".
It didn't seem like she grasped WHY he was an issue. |
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01/01/2011 05:26:43 PM · #24 |
Originally posted by punk_kaos:
Originally posted by sjhuls:
My question is what was the bride and the brides mother doing during all of this??? If I was the bride or the brides mother I would be furious. You should have gone to one of these two people and explained what he was doing would ruin the shots they were paying for and have them ask him to leave. |
The mother wasn't in attendance, and the bride was kinda "whatever happens is great with us".
It didn't seem like she grasped WHY he was an issue. |
That explains a lot. |
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01/01/2011 06:12:11 PM · #25 |
Ok, for those that were interested:
His site: www.creativeflashes.com
Mine: www.piratelogy.com |
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