| Photograph Information |
Photographer's Comments |
Camera: Canon EOS-30D
Lens: Tamron SP AF 28-75mm f/2.8 XR Di for Canon
Location: Terrell TX
Date: Apr 12, 2008
Aperture: 2.8
ISO: 200
Galleries: Emotive, Floral
Date Uploaded: Apr 13, 2008
Viewed: 356
Comments: 11
Favorites: 0
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I had a really bad day yesterday. There were a series of negative events and it seems that things happen like that sometimes...like dominoes. I had what you might call a grief ambush, I suppose because I was already kind of down due to the events of yesterday. By 8:30 am, I was sitting in my car at the baseball field, having a cry. I don't cry often, mostly because the boys don't need to see me hysterical...they need me to be strong for them. But yesterday morning, I was not. I probably spent 10 or 15 minutes having my breakdown, then I spent several more minutes in quiet reflection and prayer about it. I know grief is a very long road. I don't know where I am on the road, but I'm out there, and sometimes I feel like I'm out there alone. I just have to remind myself that God is with me and that He has the grace to calm my fears and my loneliness. I finally pulled myself together and went to the boys' baseball game.
When I got home, my antique roses were blooming so beautifully, I had to get the watering can and take a few pictures (thanks to the beautiful shot by eyewave on the front page right now for some inspiration). The water drops remind me of the tears I cried and the yellow reminds me of the hope I have in Jesus.
*P.S. Weirdly enough, last night I dreamed about Byron. It was so real...he was on the telephone, telling me that he was OK and that he missed me...then he was all of a sudden off the phone and in the room. I ran to him and held him close, my head on his chest where I used to always put it, where I always felt safe. The dream was so real that I could smell him. I don't know if it was just my subconscious mind playing tricks, or a message from above letting me know it's all going to be OK...but I know I feel better today than I did yesterday. ;) |
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04/22/2008 12:30:43 PM |
| Laurie, I went to Byron's webpage yesterday for the first time. I was very moved by all of the special words and photos people have posted there. What a great tragedy to live through, but you do seem to be living through it, as are your boys. Yes, of course they need to see you be strong, but they also need to know you are grieving for their father, just as they are. You are where you are, and you can't be anywhere else. Let the pain of your loss be your guide. Let God do the rest. |
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04/20/2008 06:59:41 PM |
| Laurie, you know I believe firmly in the afterlife and I do believe your "dream" was a visit.. and a lovely reassuring one at that. I am so glad to hear you had a better day. (((hugs))) |
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04/14/2008 11:24:37 PM |
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04/14/2008 08:35:47 PM |
| Beautiful golden yellow rose, and I love the water droplets..... |
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04/14/2008 06:00:25 PM |
laurie .. i'm sure we're given 'gifts' from god and last night was one of those gifts, when you needed it so much .. after such a sad day i'm hoping your 'dream' gave you a feeling of hope and appreciation for the wonderful things in your life .. your children must be such a blessing for you .. and you for them ..
sending a big warm hug ..
love the flower and the droplets especially after reading your comments .. :) |
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04/14/2008 02:57:17 AM |
So sorry to hear of your day - Grief is a biter - and it can chomp on you when you least expect it.
Well done for keeping one foot in front of the other - that in itself (considering what you've been through) makes you TRULY successful. |
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04/14/2008 02:44:27 AM |
| Very raw and beautiful at the same time. |
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04/13/2008 10:34:38 PM |
| Wow, I really feel for you. Such over whelming emotions, turned into art by reflecting them in your image here. You've had a lot of grief, it is good to let it out. |
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04/13/2008 05:28:15 PM |
Laurie! I'm crying with you. I'm so touched with how you share your painful journey with us. It really means alot to me personally. And the way even in the midst of your darkest days, the way you cling to your hope in Heaven and in Jesus inspires and touches me more than you could ever know. Thank you for your witness. You are amazing!!!
Oh. . .and your photography. . .the rose. . . even without the story. It is simply breathtaking!
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04/13/2008 03:36:39 PM |
| WELL DONE! Roses are so hard sometimes, with all of the intricacies of their layers of petals. Very nice indeed. |
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04/13/2008 08:10:24 AM |
| Very beautiful. I don't know your story or who Byron is. But I lost my Mom almost eight years ago. Over the years I have had dreams like that one. It happens when your not dreaming too.. one minute its just sitting in the back of your mind and the next minute you can remember every single little detail about them. My sister would love this flower, she always gave Mom yellow roses, I always gave her white. :) |
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