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03/21/2010 09:52:59 AM |
Greetings from the Critique Club.
Hello Patrick, Iâm Alan.
So now I get to revisit after a not so favorable comment, now after a ½ hour of studying the image I will attempt to further explain. As art this has ether too much or not enough. From your models face I feel the edge of a story, but everything else is a mixed message.
Did she come to her husband acting the young girl, why then the adult nightgown? As a woman, why the pigtails and teddy bear? As a wife and mother overwhelmed, why the makeup? Yes some interpretation should be experienced by the viewer, but you as the artist have to build the foundation. A open doorway with a man turned away on the far side of the bed, a hotel like âDo not disturbâ sign on the door, I think would have taken this to the next level.
Or you could go the other route less focus, color, make the title less leading, and open up endless possibilities.
Then again, I might be the one up in the night. My wife looked at it for a just moment, and said âit looks like abuse, I donât like itâ So you obliviously struck a chord with her.
I hope Iâm making sense.
If you have any questions on my insights please feel free to PM me.
Alan. |
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Comments Made During the Challenge  |
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03/14/2010 11:16:37 PM |
| moody feel - great details and compostion. |
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03/14/2010 05:47:23 PM |
#1
Yep, still my #1 pick of the 188 images. I hope you do well . There is some tough competition. |
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03/14/2010 03:40:56 PM |
| 3 - Cliche and not weird enough for me, maybe if you pushed the concept to an extreme, who knows - the left side floor panel and wall line detract. |
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03/14/2010 10:47:15 AM |
| One gets the felling that she's been in that position a long time (years). Bizarre and disturbing. Good work. |
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03/14/2010 09:45:05 AM |
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03/12/2010 03:47:17 PM |
| I gave this photo a 6, because I think it is an interesting shot. It doesn't really appeal to my taste, but as we all know, art is subjective. From a photographic standpoint, my only gripe would be the shadows above her legs kinda throws me off... The light on the subject, especially her face, is nice and its soft so it works well... |
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03/11/2010 11:36:47 AM |
| Hm... I'm truly sorry, but I just don't buy it. Some things that might have improved it for me: care taken with the angles at the door (straighten them in post, or frame for less distortion or use a different lens); duotone or b/w (the great salvager of uneven colour and the hallmark of "fine art", at least imo); a different position for your model, and expression. It just seems somewhat cliched for my taste. |
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03/10/2010 07:58:32 PM |
| I think a wider view with the girl in the corner of a blank room would have worked better, the door and textured wall are distracting |
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03/10/2010 06:35:56 PM |
| I like the idea of using an adult as the model instead of a child. Nice lighting and shadows. |
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03/10/2010 12:19:04 PM |
| Purposefully disturbing, I trow. Photographically and Artistically Excellent, I KNOW! :) |
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03/09/2010 08:05:54 PM |
| Your model, lovely as she is, fails telling the story "Cast Aside".. |
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03/09/2010 03:09:28 PM |
| personally if this were a child it would have more appeal for me, you've got the right idea for set up...but it just doesn't work with using an adult |
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03/09/2010 06:48:00 AM |
| Just my opinion but the doorknob is distracting and takes away from the mood. Still a very nice image; wonderful lighting. |
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| Photographer found comment helpful. |
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